Bethel Park Family Law
Why Having a Will is Essential in Pennsylvania
Your last will defines what you want to give, where you want it to go, and how you want your last wishes carried out. The key to a will is to keep it up-to-date about you and your life. A will that is clearly defined and current is the best piece of legal work that you have that can be used to honor your wishes.
With the help of a will, you will be able to clearly define your loved ones’ futures. If you forget to go back to your will and include your newest grandchild, or you forget to make changes to your child’s college education requirements, they may end up losing out. If something changes down the road, include it in your will. You should come back to your will each year to consult it and consider any necessary changes that need to be made.
To speak with a Pittsburgh attorney about drafting your will, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Phone Rules for Parents Who Share Custody
There are no specific rules on how to maintain contact with your children when they are with the other parent. It depends on the age of the child, the relationship the child has with the parent, the individual characteristics of the child, and the relationship the parents have with each other. Some children want a phone call and enjoy speaking to the other parent. Other children are not verbally expressive, which makes phone conversations frustrating and difficult. Family therapists recommend abiding by the following phone rules:
- There should be an effort by both parents to allow contact between the child and the other parent, especially if that’s what the child genuinely wants
- The younger the child, the more contact is preferred
- When a parent calls to speak to his or her children, have the children take responsibility for answering the phone or returning the call
- Do not use the phone to intrude on the child’s time with the other parent or to maintain influence over the child when the child is in the other home
- Do not use the phone to have the children spy on the other parent and report all the “bad things” that are going on
- Use the phone in a way that serves the child’s needs, not the parent’s need to continue to influence the child and to interfere with the child’s relaxation and enjoyment of time in the other parent’s house
To speak with an experienced Allegheny County family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Shielding Kids In High-Conflict Divorce
Parents who do not engage in physical violence but do engage in hostile communications must understand the negative impact of such conduct on their child. Every effort should be made to shield the child from the hostilities. Proposing that all communications be by email or text is one way to do so; however, it is often necessary to put boundaries around such communications.
When it is financially viable, parents in high-conflict situations should use the expertise of skilled practitioners in co-parent counseling and meet regularly to address ongoing issues.
To speak with an Allegheny County family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Helping Children Cope With Divorce
Moving between homes can be a stressful time for children. The easier a parent can make it, the better it is for them. Transition can also be difficult for you as a parent, because you’re giving up your children for a period of time. Family therapists encourage divorced parents to give their children “adjustment time” when transitioning between homes. Here are some tips for easing the transition:
- Give children something to look forward to when they come home, for example: a special snack, alone time, a TV program to watch, and so forth.
- Involve your children in what they need to do when they come home, for example: reading, doing homework, checking email, etc.
- Ask your children if there’s anything you can do to make it easier.
To speak with a Pittsburgh family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Brainwashing Children in Custody Battles
Parent alienation syndrome often occurs in the most bitter and hard-fought custody battles. In this scenario, one parent becomes obsessed with destroying a child’s relationship with the other parent when there is no good reason to do so. Alienation can be mild, moderate, or severe. A parent is engaging in parent alienation anytime children hear him or her speak in a negative way about the other parent.
In extreme situations, children are turned against a healthy parent. The children’s will and choice are removed from them through a form of brainwashing. This is a serious form of child abuse, because if isn’t stopped, the children may be headed for psychiatric disturbances, failed relationships, and dysfunctional lives in which they may pass the behavior on to their own children.
To speak with an experienced child custody and family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Building Relationships with Children of Divorce
Some parents are adamant that their children spend time with them when it’s “their time.” They may even stop the children from participating in activities or programs or spending time with their friends.
Family therapists advise against placing your desire for contact with your child above promoting his or her healthy development. Try not to think in terms of minutes and hours; think in terms of the quality of the relationship your are building and sustaining.
To speak with a Pittsburgh custody lawyer, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Child Custody in Allegheny County (Part 7 of 7)
In Allegheny County, any person involved in a child custody dispute must enroll in Generations, an alternative dispute resolution program that includes an educational seminar and mediation session. To learn about the educational seminar, please click here. To learn about the mediation session, please click here. To learn about waiving the mediation session due to issues of domestic violence, please click here. To learn about the custody conciliation, please click here. To learn about psychological/home evaluations, please click here. To learn about partial custody hearings, please click here.
If you and the other party are unable to come to an agreement at the custody conciliation, you may be ordered to appear at a judicial conciliation.
A judicial conciliation is very similar to a custody conciliation, except that the parties attempt to work out a custody agreement with the assistance of the Judge assigned to their case. A judicial conciliation may occur after a custody conciliation or after psychological evaluations have been completed. If the parties are represented, attorneys may be present. Please bring with you: a schedule of the child’s activities and school schedule; your income information; and a proposed custody schedule.
If the parties are unable to work out an agreement at the time of the judicial conciliation, the Judge may schedule the matter for trial, schedule further proceedings, and/or schedule evaluations.
To speak with an experienced Pittsburgh child custody lawyer, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Child Custody in Allegheny County (Part 4 of 7)
In Allegheny County, any person involved in a child custody dispute must enroll in Generations, an alternative dispute resolution program that includes an educational seminar and mediation session. To learn about the educational seminar, please click here. To learn about the mediation session, please click here. To learn about waiving the mediation session due to issues of domestic violence, please click here.
At the custody conciliation, the parties and their attorneys meet with a child custody officer in an attempt to negotiate and resolve their custody case. There is no fee for the conciliation. You should bring with you: your child’s school schedule, your current income information (pay stub and/or W-2), your child’s extracurricular activity schedule, and a proposed custody schedule.
If you and the other party are able to come to an agreement, the custody conciliator will write up an order of court and you will leave with an order of court that day. This will dispose of the custody action filed and you will go no further into the court system.
If you and the other party are unable to come to an agreement: you may be ordered to submit income information for psychological/home evaluations; you may be ordered to appear at a partial custody hearing; or you may be ordered to appear at a judicial conciliation.
To speak with an experienced Allegheny County family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Child Custody in Allegheny County (Part 3 of 7)
In Allegheny County, any person involved in a child custody dispute must enroll in Generations, an alternative dispute resolution program that includes an educational seminar and mediation session. To learn about the educational seminar, please click here. To learn about the mediation session, please click here.
The custody mediation session may be waived if either party or any child has been the subject of domestic violence or child abuse within 24 months preceding the filing of a custody action. If you and/or your child has been such a victim and you desire not to attend mediation, you must complete both sides of a waiver form and return it to Generations. If you have received a Protection From Abuse order (PFA order), a copy of it should also be returned with this completed form. You are also responsible for mailing a copy of this form and any PFA order to the opposing party at the same time you mail it to the Generations at: Generations 440 Ross Street, 1st Floor Pittsburgh, PA 15219.
If a mediation session is waived, a custody conciliation shall be scheduled in its place in which attorneys may be present.
To speak with an experienced Pittsburgh child custody lawyer, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Child Custody in Allegheny County (Part 2 of 7)
In Allegheny County, any person involved in a child custody dispute must enroll in Generations, an alternative dispute resolution program that includes an educational seminar and mediation session. To learn about the educational seminar, please click here.
The custody mediation session gives parents an opportunity to meet with a trained mediator to address issues related to meeting their child(ren)’s needs and to finalize a custody arrangement. Neither children nor attorneys participate in the mediation. Parents meet with a mediator for about two hours to discuss approaches to a successful parenting plan.
The goal of mediation is for parents to create their own custody plan, called a Memorandum of Understanding. Mediation is not therapy and does not include legal advice. Rather, the mediation process encourages adults to work together and to be responsible for their own parenting decisions.
Mediation sessions are confidential. The discussions during mediation cannot be recorded or copied. The mediator cannot be required to testify in court. Mediators are often attorneys or mental health professionals with advanced degrees, in addition to having basic and ongoing advanced training in mediation.
To speak with an experienced Allegheny County child custody attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.