Brookline Divorce Lawyer
What’s In A Child Custody Order?
A child custody order can be short – as little as half a page – or very long – running many dozens of pages. Child custody orders typically direct how parents:
–Share responsibility for making major decisions that affect the children
–Share time with the children during the school year
–Share time with the children during the summer months
–Share time with the children during holidays and birthdays
–Communicate about the children
–Communicate their vacation plans
–Transport the children for custody exchanges
–Notify one another if they plan to relocate
Parents need not follow the order so long as they both agree to changes. But in the event parents disagree, the order provides a framework that enables them to co-parent effectively while minimizing conflict.
At Spivak Law Firm, we provide strong, compassionate representation in all child custody matters. Call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Spanking Kids Yields Negative Results
Although some 80 percent of American parents spank their kids, the use of corporal punishment as a method of behavior modification is not supported by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
Extensive research demonstrates that although corporal punishment may have a high rate of immediate behavior modification, it is ineffective over time, and is associated with increased aggression and decreased moral internalization of appropriate behavior. Additional negative outcomes associated with corporal punishment are:
- Increased risk for physical abuse
- Learning that aggression is an acceptable method of problem solving
- Experiencing physical and emotional pain, which decreases learning capacity
- Being less likely to learn why a certain behavior or action was wrong
- Behaving out of fear in the future
Alternatively, parenting programs recommend appropriate limit setting and use of praise to increase positive behaviors, decreasing hostile or coercive family interactions, and enhanced problem solving. These techniques tend to improve the parent-child relationship and decrease the need or utility of corporal punishment.
Spivak Law Firm handles all family law matters with a focus on child custody. Call us at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Shared Custody Requires Good Communication
In Allegheny County, it is presumed that parents will share legal custody of their children. Legal custody refers to major decisions involving the child, such as medical, educational, and religious.
Parents who share legal custody are encouraged to engage in unemotional communication when keeping one another informed about their children and making joint decisions about them.
This does not mean that you and the other parent will necessarily agree on issues. It does mean that making such decisions should not interfere with your ability to work together.
Old “hot-buttons” can change the focus of effective communication to destructive, unproductive arguments. Effective communication is not about winning or revenge, but rather a fundamental pathway to working cooperatively together.
To speak with an experienced child custody attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
Understanding Your Finances is Key in Divorce
Getting a handle on your financial situation is key when going through a divorce. Organizing your finances can be difficult if you were not the one responsible for them during your marriage. If possible, try to become more financially aware before you separate:
- Get more involved in your finances. Know the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed.
- Determine where the money is coming from and how it is applied toward your budget.
- Take part in setting up investments such as retirement funds, and understand where and what the other assets are.
To speak with an Allegheny County family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
The Challenge of Co-Parenting After Divorce
Co-parenting after divorce can be challenging for many families. Co-parenting means that both you and your former spouse must take responsibility for raising your children, even though you are no longer husband and wife. The goal is to keep children out of the middle of your conflict so they don’t feel the stress of the situation.
The children should feel as though they still have a family, just one that has been reorganized. Of course, the ideal way to achieve this is for the parents to get along, do what is in the children’s best interests, and put the children’s needs before their own. But this may be easier said than done.
While change is often difficult, it does not have to be destructive. It may make sense to get psychological support during such trying times.
To speak with an experienced child custody attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.
7 Tips For Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce
Even the most civil divorce can be devastating emotionally and financially. But high-conflict divorce – in which parties litigate over all aspects of the divorce, including custody, child support, alimony, and property division – can be especially damaging. Protect yourself by following these tips for avoiding high-conflict divorce:
1. Develop an emergency plan.
Your partner could assault or evict you at any time. Figure out a safe place to go, and get some ready cash, and think about who can help you on short notice. Copy important records and keep them in a safe place.
2. Keep a journal.
As soon as possible after they occur, write down accurate details of problems and events between you and your partner that could become issues in court. Keep a journal or other written record of anything pertinent. Save email and text-message correspondence in a safe place, especially copies of hostile and harassing exchanges.
3. Think before hitting “send.”
Communicate very carefully and respectfully with your partner, because anything may be introduced into evidence. Make any emails, whether initiated by you or in response to your partner, brief, informative, friendly, and firm. This is especially true if your partner’s emails are hostile.
4. Seek counseling.
Obtain a therapist to help you understand your partner’s behavior, anticipate problems, deal with your emotions around the divorce or separation, and learn about yourself.
5. Retain a family law attorney.
Hire an attorney with good communication skills, and consult with this professional to prepare for predictable crises and accusations.
6. Avoid social media.
Delete your Facebook, Twitter, or any other publicly accessible online social networking account. You may wish to erase your browsing history from your computer. Make sure your passwords are secure. Make sure that what you want to keep private, such as letters or lists, is kept private.
7. Reach out to loved ones.
Tell your family and friends what to expect, how to respond, how they can help, and how to avoid splitting either of you into being viewed as all good or all bad.
This list was adapted from Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
To schedule an appointment with a family law attorney, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.