Monthly Archives: October 2015

“The Terror Is Constant”

Posted on October 31 2015 by Todd Spivak and Rebecca Canterbury

The following is the third of three excerpts from a recent column by Nancy Eshelman of the Patriot-News in Central Pennsylvania. Ms. Eshelman’s husband was convicted of voluntary manslaughter in a domestic violence related incident.

“For a domestic violence victim, the feeling of vulnerability increases after she makes the break. She knows he is angry and she waits for him to show it.

Walking to the mail box, taking out the trash, working in the yard become terrifying. The prospect of unloading groceries from her trunk causes her to sweat.

She drives everywhere with one eye in the rear view mirror and her car doors locked. She never exits the car without her house keys in her hand.

She burns too many lights. She looks out the windows. She wonders if she frantically dials 911 how long a response would take. She asks herself repeatedly which direction she would run if she saw him approaching.

The terror is constant. It takes a toll, physically and mentally.

And for too many women, the threat becomes all too real.”

Spivak Law Firm provides strong, compassionate representation in PFA and criminal domestic-violence cases. For a free consultation, call us at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.

“I Still Shiver From The Fear”

Posted on October 28 2015 by Todd Spivak and Rebecca Canterbury

The following is the second of three excerpts from a recent column by Nancy Eshelman of the Patriot-News in Central Pennsylvania. Ms. Eshelman’s husband was convicted of voluntary manslaughter in a domestic violence related incident.

“The terror is constant. It takes a toll, physically and mentally.

If I think about it, and I try not to, I still shiver from the fear.

Night after night, unable to sleep, convinced that every passing car, every tree branch blowing in the wind is him.

For a victim of domestic violence, peace is elusive, sleep unknown.

I recall rushing home from work and taking a shower because somehow being naked and alone in the bathroom felt less vulnerable in daylight.

The victim longs to feel normal, but normal is no longer part of her existence.

If she’s a mother, she strives to create a semblance of normalcy for her kids. She helps with homework, but can’t concentrate. She attends their activities, but often misses the action.

Instead of watching her son running up and down the basketball court, she’s scanning the stands, terrified she will see that face, the one that haunts her.

As one woman described it, ‘You become like a guerilla warrior – constantly scanning your surroundings, looking over your shoulder, and jumping at every sound.’

Spivak Law Firm provides strong, compassionate representation in PFA and criminal domestic-violence cases. For a free consultation, call us at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.

“It’s All About Power And Control”

Posted on October 27 2015 by Todd Spivak and Rebecca Canterbury

The following is the first of three excerpts from a recent column by Nancy Eshelman of the Patriot-News in Central Pennsylvania. Ms. Eshelman’s husband was convicted of voluntary manslaughter in a domestic violence related incident.

“In early 1979, my estranged husband climbed a trellis, peered into my windows and saw me watching TV with a male co-worker. He tore out of the parking lot in his Jeep, sped the few blocks to his home and grabbed his gun. He raced back to my apartment – where our children were sleeping – smashed a window, bounded up a flight of stairs and pointed a gun in my face.

Then he wheeled around, strode a few steps and shot my co-worker dead.

My ex got his jollies by belittling others: me, my kids, his mother, anyone he saw as weaker.

When I could no longer tolerate what his harassment was doing to me and my children, I prepared to leave. I did it the right way: I told him why, told him when, told him where, gave him access to his kids.

He stalked me. They didn’t use that term in 1979, but that’s what it was. Wherever I went, he’d pop up. He’d call me a dozen times a night. When he brought the kids home, he thought that entitled him to enter the apartment where the boys and I lived. When I objected, he shoved me down a flight of stairs.

Almost 35 years later, I’m still delivering the message that possession isn’t romantic, despite what we may see in movies. It isn’t pretty, and it certainly isn’t love. It’s all about power and control.”

Spivak Law Firm provides strong, compassionate representation in PFA and criminal domestic-violence cases. For a free consultation, call us at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.

Comic Bill Burr Riffs On Domestic Violence

Posted on October 19 2015 by Todd Spivak and Rebecca Canterbury

Domestic violence is no laughing matter – except in the hands of comedian Bill Burr, who will be performing two sets in Pittsburgh this week at Heinz Hall.

Here’s an excerpt from the funnyman’s 2012 special You People Are All The Same:

“Obviously I’m not saying to hit a woman, you know. But saying there’s no reason, I think that’s crazy.

When you say there’s no reason, that kills any sort of examination as to how two people ended up at that place. You say there’s no reason, you cut out the build-up; you’re just left with the act. How are you gonna solve it if you don’t figure it out?

Look how awkward it is in here right now. I said you shouldn’t hit a woman. I’m just saying, how come you can’t ask questions? You can only ask questions about what the guy did. You can never about the woman. Why is that?

Look, I understand hitting a woman’s a bad thing, okay. How come you can’t ask questions? I just don’t understand.

Like, if I got bit by a rattlesnake, wouldn’t you guys have some questions? Right, how did it happen? Did you not see it? Were you [messing] with it? How did a snake get so mad it almost killed you?

Firemen put out a fire, they don’t just drive away afterward. They sift through the debris. How did it start? Here’s an oily rag! Right?

Look I realize I’m coming off pretty ignorant right about now. I realize that. Let me extend an olive branch then, okay?

I realize that there are some animal guys out there. Horrible guys, you know, have a rough day at the factory, come home – ‘tuna casserole?’ – and just start swinging, all right? I’m not trying to say that those people don’t exist. I realize that they exist. They should be buried underneath the prison. Okay?

So if I can admit that, ladies, can you at least admit that every ass-kicking doesn’t just fall out of the freakin’ sky? Really?

Even hockey has two minutes for instigating!”

Spivak Law Firm handles all family law and criminal defense matters with a focus on domestic-violence issues. For a free consultation, call Spivak Law Firm at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.

PFA Hearings And Child Custody

Posted on October 5 2015 by Todd Spivak and Rebecca Canterbury

If you’ve been served with a Temporary Protection From Abuse (PFA) Order, it is likely that you’ve been evicted from your home and restricted from having any contact with your children. This can be devastating for a parent.

Under Pennsylvania law, the alleged “abuser” gets no opportunity to contest the accusations until the PFA Hearing some 10 days later. If you are a parent served with a PFA, we strong advise that you hire an attorney with experience in both criminal defense and child custody matters.

“Victims” of abuse get free attorneys to represent them at PFA Hearings in Pittsburgh and all surrounding counties — Allegheny County, Beaver County, Butler County, Washington County, and Westmoreland County.

If you go to PFA Court without an attorney – or with an attorney who does not routinely handle child custody matters – you risk losing custody of your kids for an even longer period of time.

It is commonly known that many “victims” of abuse exploit the PFA system in an attempt to gain leverage in a child-custody battle. Do not let this happen to you.

Spivak Law Firm provides strong, aggressive representation in all PFA and child custody matters. Call us at (412) 344-4900 or toll free at (800) 545-9390.